My daughter took a pacifier for the first time yesterday. Big deal huh? Well, actually it is kind of a big deal – for a couple of reasons. First, for the last month I have been physically attached to my little peanut night and day almost continuously. I have loved the snuggling! But in the process I have been forced to neglect my other two kids, my house and just about everything that can’t be done one-handed. Peyton is a smart one. She smells the difference between mom and anyone else – even in her sleep. So she’s been held almost constantly, and to top it off she hasn’t taken a pacifier at all – just a finger will work to soothe in between feedings. But the yesterday she took the pacifier for nearly a full hour. It was an amazing hour. I made the kids a dinner that actually required use of the stove. I cleaned. I helped Noah with his homework. It was really pretty blissful. After I took care of all those things I went and took a look at Peyton – happy and content with a “binky” in her mouth. And… (here’s the Big Deal #2)
I got sad. The last month has been a big chaotic and crazy. But it’s such a brief period of time when a baby is small and utterly dependant on mom. I know that in reality she is still utterly dependent on me, and I also know that there is no way we could continue for any length of time in that same routine. However, the realization hit me that the journey has begun. She has taken her first little step toward independence. Today the binky…maybe next month she’ll be able to sleep in her own bed…In a few years she’ll have her first day of kindergarten…and then ten years later she might be driving a car. It all goes so fast and I’m trying to savor and remember these moments as well as the milestones.
That’s all.
